((Okay, y'all--count all the big words!))
So for the two of you who read this and aren't on my clandestine double secret-squirrel running list, here is a recap of a conversation I had with someone (not on said list) who has known me for over three years. I'm not even exactly sure how we got on the topic of guys, but when we do, it usually turns to the fact that I can't seem to find one that is acceptable. Or that finds me acceptable ;)
First she tells me that I should wear a little more makeup, because a lot of guys aren't into the "natural" look I've got going on. Now, I've never been a big makeup girl. A little mascara and lip gloss, and some concealer to attempt to cover up the dark circles and random zit. I don't see the need to trowel on a layer of goo to go to the grocery store. There is no reason I can think of for me to look like a Vegas showgirl every day, especially in the oppressive humidity that is prevalent here in Florida, where it will just melt off within an hour anyway.
The second, and more dubious, piece of advice I got from this fount of wisdom (who has the moral turpitude of an alley cat, but I digress...) was that I should basically dumb down. Her quote was, "If you use big words around guys like you do around us, you're probably intimidating them." **Blink** (My immediate response to her was, "Well, you could probably expand your own vocabulary if you read a book once in a while." Because I'm a bitch that way :-D)
Allow me to defend myself here: I do not walk around talking like Ms. Merriam-Webster 2008. But I read a lot, and I pick stuff up. I have a pretty good vocabulary. But I'm being told not to use it around a person I potentially could be spending the majority of my time with, because it might threaten him. And then I wondered to myself, "Who the hell is this girl dating that she thinks this is helpful??" because it was just so...stupid.
As far as the dumbing-down thing goes, I think my friend Lisa said it best: "If you dumb down, you get dumb guys. No thanks." AMEN, sister! I've already dated (and married) dumb. At some point, you want to actually have a conversation. But maybe that's just me.
Yet another reason to keep my moratorium on boys in place.
6 comments:
What a load of codswallup (I just LOVE that word)
I wear makeup a couple times a year for special events; it's like playing "dress up" for me.
I have no want, need nor desire to paint on a face to show the world that is not mine.
IF I choose to enter into another relationship, it will be with someone who finds ME attractive, not what cover girl puts on me.
I had a friend many years ago, who spent nearly an hour a day putting her face on.
One day she had a rough morning, didn't have time, showed up for work without it, and everyone asked her if she was sick.
Who wants to be that woman?
I like to be the healthy natural woman who makes people go "WOW" on the rare occasions I do put it on. Actually, I got a "Wow" for showing up at my neighborhood pub, clean with my hair down; I usually finish up my run in the park with a sweaty stop there. Our usual server (a straight woman BTW) just went nuts over how beautifula and blue she thought my eyes were and how they were set off by my shiny red hair and the color of my shirt. "Ah, I'm just clean today."
I don't want someone that wants a painted up fake woman.
And I most certainly do not want someone who wants a dumb or submissive woman.
You don't need to settle and you don't need to change who you are to settle for someone who is not worth your time.
Personally, I like myself better when I'm not in a relationship, but if I choose to be in one, I won't be settling and I won't be pretending to be something that I am not.
make up shmake up. The only guys that go for girls that wear tons of make up are the ones who may possibly like hookers lol. I personally dont think you need make up at all. I laugh at girls who frost their face with all kinds of shit and the guys they seem to be with are the player types. And as far as you using big words, all guys are dumb and the only words they know are boobs, ass, sex beer and football oh and you cant forget food!! LOL you are fine the way you are. Be yourself not what a guy wants you to be and youll find the right guy! Like my favorite saying "i rather you hate me for who i am, than love me for who im not" your not fake like most girls so dont stoop to their level.
Codswallup! GREAT word!! And I confess to using craptacular, which I first saw in one of your posts, on a regular basis now ;)
I was shocked that this girl, who has known me for over three years, was giving me this advice.
I'm kinda pale and I'm freckled (which I kind of like,) but I'm also pretty low-maintenance.
I've known for a while that I'm not appealing to every guy. High-maintenance metrosexual dudes need not apply. I'm not interested in being with a guy who takes longer to get ready than I do ;)
LOL--Thanks, Steph :)
I don't think ALL guys are dumb. I'm just not currently running into the smarter ones. Which is fine, because, as you know, I'm not looking anyway.
And what's wrong with football?? ;)
Ah,
But the true "language test" is knowing when to use the word "craptastic" rather than "craptacular"
It's a very fine line ;)
I'm with you on the metrosexual guys.
If a guy has more "product" in his bathroom cabinet than I do, we're not likely to be compatible for the long term.
I used to joke (long before I ever dreamed of working there) that my "ideal guy" is someone you'd find in an REI catalog.
You are so right on about make up. Who in their right mind wants to spend $$ on that?! I prefer spending money on electronics, books, things that matter to me. As for the big words... your friend has it right...dumb down = dumb guys. A guy is supposed to like you for YOU. If he doesnt, maybe he should look at himself in a mirror.
Natural look will always win over the hooker look, IMO. Plus makeup takes up valuable sleeping time. I am not giving that up for anyone or thing. :)
I see you have touched on a great subject with all the responses you received! Good job, girl!!!
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