I am spawned from crazy people.
If you spill Faygo Rock & Rye pop on a white tshirt, it will not come completely out even with a Tide Pen, OxiClean, and the toughest stain removal stuff on the market.
Death to people who sit in the middle of a parking row for five minutes (blocking me in, but I digress) waiting for someone to pull out of a spot TWO SPACES UP from an empty spot. Really?? Is that extra 10 feet of walking going to kill you, fatass??
I also hate people who shop at Sam's Club. They are the same assholes who shop at Walmart (aka the Tenth Circle of Hell,) only they're buying in bulk. And they block me in my parking spot.
I was watching Oprah this afternoon (don't judge,) and I found out that in Mauritania, overweight divorcees with stretchmarks are considered the most desirable mates. Where's my passport....
Pat Green's new CD friggin' ROCKS. Even if all my friends flake out on his show at the Dallas Bull next month, I am going to see that boy in concert. Even if I'm sitting there drinking beer all by myself like a big ol' loser.