Thursday, April 20, 2006

Initial Epiphany

It occurred to me this morning, as I was sitting here completely befuddled as to what I was supposed to be doing, that my life is a freakin' trainwreck. And if I continue to run it in the circus-sideshow fashion to which I have become accustomed, it will never be more than that. And then I'll have my mother standing behind me telling me what I "should have" done every five seconds, and that ain't gonna work for me. So, as distasteful as it is, I clearly need to set myself up on a schedule and actually follow it. This includes running, since I had basically a four-day weekend and only managed to run once due to my disorganization and lack of discipline (which are NOT good habits, particularly in my chosen profession.) I've got about 18 months of school left (God willing); I think I can handle it for at least that amount of time.

I just wanted to put it out there; I know there are a few people who will call me on it. You know who you are ;)

Thanks to everyone who sent kind words and congratulations on my divorce. In case anyone thinks I'm taking it too lightly, please know that I've had my closure, and grieved, and I've had eight months to realize that he really did me a ginormous favor, and I'm just ready to move on. I'm really lucky that I'm in a much better position than many would be, and I'm finally starting to figure out who I am and what I want (and don't want) from life. And it's probably going to upset some people, but I can't please everyone anymore; it's too exhausting.

Oh, and I had a chat with my sister on Friday afternoon; we're good. We figured out what our biggest problem is, and found out that we have some similar ideas on stuff, like where we want to live once we're certified in our respective fields. Life's funny sometimes, eh?

2 comments:

John Vezina said...

Hi Shawn,

Hope you enjoy your new blog. Is this the absolute FIRST comment? Cool!

Keep running around like a crazy ting, OK?

-John Vezina

John said...

Shawnie...
I see you are using your free time wisely...:)
Why do you rate your self as an underachiever... In Arkansas as an reciptionist and part time cahsier you would be rated an overachiever...
Keep in touch....XOXOXOXO
Your favorite Quakeman